High on Life

Word on the street is that there’s a new drug in town. This one doesn’t get you high, improve your focus, pump your muscles, or give you longer-lasting erections, but what it does do is lower your cholesterol (with diet and exercise). No, it’s not a cousin of Lipitor, Crestor, Zocor, or Tricor. In fact it doesn’t end in “or” and it’s located in a different store aisle entirely. It’s in the cereal aisle.

General Mills’s Cheerios® Toasted Whole Grain Cereal has recently come under fire by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for illegally marketing itself as (what the FDA considers) a “drug.” Because a standard box of Cheerios claims “You can lower your cholesterol by 4% in 6 weeks” and “Heart-healthy diets rich in whole grain foods, can reduce the risk of heart disease,” it is a misbranded label. If according to the FDA, cereal is a drug then anything we consume can be considered a drug.

The FDA writes in a letter to the company, “[W]e have determined that your Cheerios® Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and treatment of disease.” And as such, Cheerios “may not be legally marketed with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug application.”

General Mills is being a good sport about the whole thing. They released a statement saying, “The science is not in question … the clinical study supporting Cheerios’ cholesterol-lowering benefit is very strong. [...] We look forward to discussing this with FDA and to reaching a resolution.”

I think the whole thing is ridiculous. The FDA is abusing its power by trying to regulate the way a product is advertised. To say an unauthorized health claim on a box of cereal is a violation of federal regulation is an extreme position. Who cares if the claims on the Cheerios box are true? If they make people buy it and eat a healthier cereal (as opposed to really sugary cereals), it’s a win-win. That’s called successful marketing.

So kids, the next time you want to do drugs, try getting high off a box of Life®. Call up the FDA and see what they have to say about that.

Article(s):

Goldstein, Jacob. “FDA Warns General Mills: Cheerios Is a Drug.” The Wall Street Journal 12 May 2009. URL

You Know You’re From Jersey When…

I know it’s kinda lame, but I miss Jersey. (I edited some out because there’s so many. You can find more here and elsewhere on the web.)



You know you’re from New Jersey when…

You know that the only people who call it “Joisey” are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas;

You don’t think of fruit when people mention “The Oranges”;

You know that it’s called Great Adventure, not Six Flags;

You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven;

You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 A.M.;

You know what a “jug handle” is;

You don’t think “What exit (do you live near)?” is very funny;

You know that WaWa is a convenience store;

You know what jimmies are;

You know it’s funnel cake, not fried dough;

You know that “Acme” is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation;

You get excited when Shop Rite has its annual Can-Can sale;

You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich;

You know that the state isn’t all farmland or one big oil refinery;

You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey–there’s the shore–and you don’t go “to the shore,” you go “down the shore.” And when you are there, you’re not “at the shore”; you are “down the shore”;

You know how to properly negotiate a circle;

You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving;

You know that this is the only “New” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it. Try Mexico, York, or Hampshire – Doesn’t work, does it?;

You know how to translate this conversation: “Jeet yet?” “No, jew?”;

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City”;

You know that people from the 609 area code are “a little different”;

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – That’s for out-of-staters;

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls, six movie theaters and nine diners;

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers;

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, people from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood – It can be no other way;

You weren’t raised in New Jersey–you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey, or South Jersey;

You don’t consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state;

And finally…

You’ve never pumped your own gas!

Holy Cow, Delicious Cheeseburger

I don’t have a problem with vegetarianism, but vegetarians often have a problem with me. I am an unabashed, meat-eater. When it comes to meat, the redder the better. I believe humans were designed to eat meat, whether it is cows or chickens. I don’t have a problem with eating healthy, but I also believe meat is an important part of a healthy diet. Meat, especially lean meats, are a high source of protein, iron, zinc, and B-12 vitamins.

Given the obvious nutritional benefits of eating meat, why do people become vegetarians? The ones I have talked to say they have become vegetarians either because of health reasons or because of “animal rights,” and sometimes it’s both. Vegetarians are part of a cow-worshiping cult, like Hindus without their religious practices. However, those are not the ones I mind so much. The vegetarians I have a bone to pick with are the ones who actively campaign to get others to join their cause. I’m not going to stop eating meat because someone showed me pictures of cattle being slaughtered or chickens being cooped. I feel as though some people become vegetarians to start arguments. The top point on their political agenda is to make people feel bad about themselves. That’s one kind of politics I don’t want to talk about over the dinner table. You can have the salad; just give me the cheeseburger.